I’m in love with Chipotle!

Can’t help myself. I was a big fan before going GF, and I’m a big fan still. Yesterday was so hectic, I ate terribly throughout the day - woke up late and had to eat during a morning conference call, so I had a Lara Bar. Then was running late for a doctor’s appointment, and silly me, thought I had enough time to make a grilled cheese sandwich. It took a while, and I had to eat it while I walked around the condo gathering the things I needed for the doc appt, but it was the best darn grilled cheese I’ve had in recent memory. I used the GF bread I baked days ago (froze slice pairs) and some terrific cheese from the farmer’s market, with sundried tomatoes and olives in it. Yum!

So in the evening, after the gym, I was feeling too tired to cook, and wanted veggies. Chipotle called out to me. A burrito bowl with black beans and tons of their corn and tomato salsas and lettuce was perfect. Ironic that it was “fast food,” but I felt like it was the healthiest meal I had all day. A pal is the manager at our local store, and he was telling me recently how the quality of their food is extremely high, and much of it organic, so I feel pretty good eating it.

Of course, later, ice cream. But who’s counting. ;)

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Again with the emotional eating

Today was another not-feeling-good day. Sometimes being a fibrochick really sucks! But despite how bad I felt, I forced myself to go to the gym. I’m thankful that I pushed past the pain, exhaustion, brain fog, depressed feelings…and hit the gym. The trainers were so encouraging and I felt supported and inspired to work hard.

So, on to food today - there was lots of snacking, and I craved sweet, salty, crunchy. I think it’s mainly because I felt so bummed out and not feeling good. Breakfast: yogurt, Udo’s, berries. Lunch: brown rice and a Trader Joe’s Thai tuna packet, with some yellow and orange bell peppers chopped into it. (I haven’t been to Trader Joe’s since I started this little experiment, so I must head over there this week and see how they handle their GF selection and labeling!) Dinner: salmon steaks marinated in spices and white wine, wild rice, corn on the cob. Kind of heavy on the fish and rice today, purely by accident, but I could do worse.

Being in pain, and exhaustion, is a bummer. Being bummed out causes more fatigue and pain, as well. So I’ve been in a vicious cycle for a couple weeks now. Yes, I have “up” days and moments, and I’ve gotten lots done workwise, but overall I’ve been feeling a malaise that I can’t kick, and all my typical fibrochick pains are flaring bigtime. It’s not the easiest time over here at ChronicBabe (and Gluten-Free Babe) HQ, but going to the gym today got me feeling a little more positive and hopeful. All the lovely comments and emails help too, so thanks.

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Not feeling well

Yesterday I wasn’t feeling well at all, and today’s not looking so hot either. That’s the way it goes for us fibrochicks sometimes. So a quick chow recap:

Sunday night dinner: sushi delivery. I think everything was fine, but wondered later about the seaweed salad. So I need to do more homework.

Monday: GF toast with butter and honey for breakfast; a banana, small cheese (Bonbel - love the smiling cow!), GF crackers for lunch; chipotle veggie burrito bow, chips ad guacamole for dinner. A couple cookies before bed with my meds.

I don’t think not feeling well has anything to do with the GF experiment. Mostly, I think it’s because I haven’t worked out regularly for a couple weeks - I was sick two weeks ago, got out of my routine, and now I’m having trouble kick-starting it again. This is the cycle lots of us fibrochicks go through: we know that working out will help, but we feel so crappy the idea of working out seems impossible. I’ll go today, and it will suck, and will likely suck every day this week, but I’ll go and by the weekend I’ll feel better. Eating well will help.

OK, back to bed for this babe. More later…

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Attending a party, and who do we teach?

This morning, I had my final GF Whole Foods almond scone, and my customary yogurt and Udo’s choice oil. As I prepped for the bridal shower I was attending, I wondered if people would like the GF foods I prepared to bring. Earlier in the week, I had emailed one of the hostesses, explaining my situation and offering to bring dishes that I could have and that everyone could share. I felt a little self-conscious showing up with food when no one else was doing so.

I didn’t have to worry, because the party was great - people seemed to like the food, and we talked about it a little, and I felt comfortable. They had a delicious fruit salad, too, which I ate a big heaping pile of. But it’s challenging to explain to people that even though they think I can eat something, I can’t. For example, they had made a salad which looked awesome, but it had bacon bits on it, so those were iffy. They had two kinds of fruit popsicles, so I read the packages - one kind was ok, the other wasn’t. A couple folks were incredulous that a popsicle could have “wheat” in it so I explained that it hides in lots of ingredients. It started an interesting conversation, but then I felt weird that we were all talking about my food needs at someone else’s party and changed the subject. All in all, it was a very nice party, and I was glad that everyone was so cool about my chow.

I keep reminding myself that I’m not allergic, and I don’t have celiac disease, so if a tiny bit of something slips in, it’s not an emergency. But I want to be as faithful as I can be; otherwise, what’s the point of trying it? And I don’t want to preach to people, but I like educating folks, because they likely bump into other people with similar limitations and it’s good for them to know something about it. It’s tough to know when to explain things, like last night with the waitress - should I have stopped her and explained that she had goofed? Probably. But she was harried, and it wasn’t going to hurt me, so I passed.

Another example: In a store yesterday, my pal Natalie and I were looking at chocolates to give as a gift, and out of curiosity I was checking ingredients. A store clerk overheard me, and she asked about it. Once I explained what celiac disease was and why I was being so thorough, she said, “I’m sure a little couldn’t hurt. After all, everything in moderation, right?” Wrong! “Well, for someone who has the disease, even a crumb can be enough to make them really sick,” I replied, and she shrugged and turned away. What’s the right thing to do in that situation? Should I chase after her and make her understand? What if someone with celiac asks her for help with a product and she steers them the wrong way? I guess I could make myself crazy every day with those kinds of questions.

It’s a fine line to walk. I can imagine that for folks with celiac, it can become tedious, or infuriating, or a crazy mixture of both depending on the circumstance.

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Saturday, and I cooked a bunch again

Woke up and had my standard yogurt, Udo’s choice and GF almond scone. Lunch was rushed, in between cooking various dishes: a bowl of pasta salad leftovers, a hard-boiled egg, some berries. Meanwhile, I cooked some tasty chocolate chip cookies (using a Pamela’s Products mix that was fantastic) and also making more pasta salad with tons of veggies. The dishes were to bring to a bridal shower (more on that later).

We were heading out to a couple bars tonight for some friends’ birthday gatherings, so I ate an Amy’s GF frozen meal in advance so I wouldn’t be starving. But the onion rings at Moody’s Pub made my mouth water, so I gave in and ordered something: a cheeseburger, bun-less (I told the waitress I was gluten-free), with fries on the side (so my pals could eat them).

So what does the waitress bring? “Cheeseburger, fries on the side ‘cuz you’re allergic to wheat,” she announces to the table - and the burger is on a bun. Grr. Thankfully, I’m not a celiacbabe, so I just tossed the bun. But still! Imagine if I was - wasted burger. It was way too noisy and overcrowded to have a heart-to-heart with the waitress, but in a different setting I would have. And later, my tummy hurt, and Steve and I decided it was probably because I rarely eat red meat, and I had it without the bun, which would normally soak up the grease. Hmm.

Meanwhile, I am not missing fried foods as much as I thought I would. But I still think I might get a fryer and try making GF onion rings. It could be my annual tradition - a big fry-off greasefest.

At both bars (the second joint was awful) I had wine, because while I had researched ciders earlier today, I couldn’t get served one. No biggie - but it was unexpected.

The lessons of the day were at Moody’s: 1. Even if I eat beforehand, the smell and sight of others’ food might tempt me, so I need to watch out for that. I regretted the burger later. And, 2. Even if a waitperson seems to completely understand what you’re asking for, you still might get screwed, so be prepared. If I had celiac disease, and hadn’t snacked earlier, I would have been in bad shape after sending that burger. (I would have worried about cross-contamination from the bun.)

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A quick catch-up

It’s a big pain day here, so a quick catch-up for posterity’s sake:

Dinner last night: pork chops, wild rice, corn on the cob. Yum! Easy. Delicious. Healthy. Then came Hagen-Dazs coffee ice cream. Yum! Easy. Delicious. Not so healthy. But I only had the “serving size” so it wasn’t all bad. A rice cake later with my evening meds.

Breakfast: one of those incredible almond scones from Whole Foods, and yogurt with Udo’s Choice oil. Lunch: all-veggie salad with oil & vinegar, plus a Lara Bar (the cashew kind).

Evening: I’m relaxing with a glass of red wine and a good book. I’m thinking more wild rice, and some corn, and maybe a slice of cheese from the farmer’s market. And probably more coffee ice cream. It’s been one of those days.

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By the way, thanks for all the comments!

Lots of folks are commenting on my posts, and emailing me separately to share their thoughts, tips, personal experiences, recipes, and support, and I am SO THANKFUL. Y’all rock! I love the Interwebs, and I love having such a strong community of support. Big hugs -

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The past 24 hours have been really weird

I was supposed to lunch with my pal at Lula Cafe, but she wasn’t feeling well, so instead I picked up some ginger ale and crackers for her and headed over, thinking I would leave her place and have lunch at Lula anyway. But my pal was WAY sicker than she thought at first, and instead, I wound up taking her to the hospital. I’m still not sure what’s going on - last I heard last night, she was being moved to the ICU. Needless to say, I’m worried for her.

My food challenges, I realize, are minuscule compared to what’s going on for her. But I committed to logging all food into this blog of mine, so I’m forcing myself to write even though I really don’t feel like it.

Heading to the hospital was a real question: it’s a place of health, so they must have gluten-free stuff, right? Uh-uh. Not special food, anyway. I had enjoyed a tasty popsicle with my pal before we drove (it rehydrated her and sugared her up enough to find the energy to climb into the car) but it was way past my lunchtime by the time she was dropped off. So I headed to the cafeteria, which is really an Au Bon Pain. After scouring the offerings, I came up with a romaine salad with walnuts and gorgonzola, and a raspberry salad dressing that was mostly sugar, and of which I used only a tiny amount. I scarfed it and grabbed a banana and headed down to the ER waiting area to meet my pal, and we waited.

I was hungry an hour later. Seriously. After a breakfast of yogurt and berries, a salad and a banana don’t get me too far. But there was no way I was going to complain, of course. Later that evening, when it was clear her parents were on their way, I headed out to drop off her car, feed her dog, scour her fridge for anything I could eat (nothing but pickles) and drive home. I succumbed to the call of Chipotle on the way, since I know it’s GF and basically nutritional. A little rice, some black beans for protein, and tons of veggies. And a few chips and guacamole. And then I just crashed.

This morning I am still feeling wonky. I had my customary yogurt, Udo’s Choice oil, and a pear. Around lunchtime I had a Whole Foods GF almond scone and I just feel like taking a nap and not thinking too hard - I’m still waiting to hear what’s up with my pal. Worry makes me hungry. I did mention earlier that I am an emotional eater, yes?!

So all in all, despite a super crappy awful no-good very bad day for my pal (and some residual crappiness for me), I think I’m doing good, all things considered. I’m glad I was able to help my pal, I’m proud that I didn’t give up and eat a ton of cookies at Au Bon Pain. And re: dinner, even rushed and going for fast food, I managed to make it fresh vegetable-focused. I bought a bunch of fresh produce this morning to keep me on the right path.

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I am an emotional, impulsive eater.

That’s the lesson I’ve gleaned from the past two days. As work stress overloads, I take it out on my tummy. After a long, frustrating day, I craved a snack - so I had a Tree Huggin’ Treats Crispy Cat, and then I went to the gym. Kind of counter-productive. For dinner, I had more leftover pasta salad with asparagus, mozzarella, and red peppers; and a few corn chips and salsa, followed by a little more chocolate. Oh, and a mandarin/lime soda. Sheesh! It was all about the crispy/salty/chocolaty today.

So to repeat: what have I learned in the last 48 hours? When I get busy, I don’t plan ahead, then I scramble for food, which usually leads me to less-than-optimal choices. Luckily, the GF experiment has forced me to be slightly healthier. Barely. Also: when I am stressed or highly emotional, I scarf, and my urge is to go for unhealthy snacks.

Next steps: get some more healthy snacks for those freakout moments. Fruit. Veggies with tasty (healthy) dip. Rice crackers and cakes so I can get crunchy and sweet with minimal calories. And, keep writing all my food down, because I’m learning A LOT. Slightly embarrassing to be putting this out there for the public to see, but hopefully it’s helping other people to see the process. I know your comments help me. :) So thanks for listening and chiming in.

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It’s a super stressful day so far

So I’ll keep it short and sweet. Breakfast: yogurt with Udo’s choice oil, strawberries, and a rice cake. Lunch: leftover shrimp and dill rice, plus a little cheese, and three tiny cookies and couple squares of chocolate.

I’m quickly learning that my eating habits are shaped heavily by emotions, and by stress levels. It’s something I’ll think about more in the coming days, when I don’t feel quite so stressed. :}

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