Attending a party, and who do we teach?
This morning, I had my final GF Whole Foods almond scone, and my customary yogurt and Udo’s choice oil. As I prepped for the bridal shower I was attending, I wondered if people would like the GF foods I prepared to bring. Earlier in the week, I had emailed one of the hostesses, explaining my situation and offering to bring dishes that I could have and that everyone could share. I felt a little self-conscious showing up with food when no one else was doing so.
I didn’t have to worry, because the party was great - people seemed to like the food, and we talked about it a little, and I felt comfortable. They had a delicious fruit salad, too, which I ate a big heaping pile of. But it’s challenging to explain to people that even though they think I can eat something, I can’t. For example, they had made a salad which looked awesome, but it had bacon bits on it, so those were iffy. They had two kinds of fruit popsicles, so I read the packages - one kind was ok, the other wasn’t. A couple folks were incredulous that a popsicle could have “wheat” in it so I explained that it hides in lots of ingredients. It started an interesting conversation, but then I felt weird that we were all talking about my food needs at someone else’s party and changed the subject. All in all, it was a very nice party, and I was glad that everyone was so cool about my chow.
I keep reminding myself that I’m not allergic, and I don’t have celiac disease, so if a tiny bit of something slips in, it’s not an emergency. But I want to be as faithful as I can be; otherwise, what’s the point of trying it? And I don’t want to preach to people, but I like educating folks, because they likely bump into other people with similar limitations and it’s good for them to know something about it. It’s tough to know when to explain things, like last night with the waitress - should I have stopped her and explained that she had goofed? Probably. But she was harried, and it wasn’t going to hurt me, so I passed.
Another example: In a store yesterday, my pal Natalie and I were looking at chocolates to give as a gift, and out of curiosity I was checking ingredients. A store clerk overheard me, and she asked about it. Once I explained what celiac disease was and why I was being so thorough, she said, “I’m sure a little couldn’t hurt. After all, everything in moderation, right?” Wrong! “Well, for someone who has the disease, even a crumb can be enough to make them really sick,” I replied, and she shrugged and turned away. What’s the right thing to do in that situation? Should I chase after her and make her understand? What if someone with celiac asks her for help with a product and she steers them the wrong way? I guess I could make myself crazy every day with those kinds of questions.
It’s a fine line to walk. I can imagine that for folks with celiac, it can become tedious, or infuriating, or a crazy mixture of both depending on the circumstance.
allergic girl said,
June 11, 2007 @ 4:36 pm
excellent post.
anyone with food allergies, ok well me, totally gets this scenario; i do it at least once weekly: educate. anytime i go to a dinner party, an event where i’m not munching on the passed munchies, a cocktail party-basically leave my house and go somewhere where there’s food, inevitably the conversation turns to why aren’t you eating that?
which usually turns into a mini educational seminar about food allergies. interestingly, i’ve noticed, at least one person at the dinner table or in the cocktail conversation has a friend/family member/acquaintance who has food allergies, is gluten sensitive or has some GI distress and is one a special diet. so it’s not an allergic girl lecture which like you after a while im over it and want to go back to party convo.
ps what is “Udo’s choice oil”? you mention it often and i’m not familiar with that.
keep going with your gluten free self!
rachel said,
June 12, 2007 @ 1:26 pm
I wouldn’t assume you don’t have celiac - there’s a lot of overlap between neuro troubles (including neuropathies) and celiac. the celiac test also has a HIGH false negative rate. (like 40+%)
My home is gf because my 3 daughters and I are celiac. my husband eats gf at home. my daughters are *extremely* sensitive, and need to have people wash their hands after eating bread, as the transfer of crumbs can make them ill.
In the past 4 years I’ve realized that some people are open to chatting and some aren’t. Reading body language helps me decide what to say. It’s just like telling people why I’m sitting on my butt rather than running in the water with my kids - some people are more open to conversations.